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So what of dating foreigners? Find a woman who will be in Beijing or Shanghai temporarily. Beijing and Shanghai are crappy places to look for a relationship.

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In other words, in the normal run of things foreigners are more likely to encounter locals who might date them simply because of the places they frequent. Foreign spouses have the same rights as Chinese do in terms of property ownership, divorce law and so on. If they are coming from further out, make sure it isn't just a business meeting or you might be trading one submissive office slave in a big city for the same in another. The next issue is what to do if things continue to work out in person.

This is particularly the case when both partners are financially independent in their own right. This could be as simple as someone in Hebei or Hangzhou. But while intentions may be harder to decipher and cultural confusion may cause hurtful misunderstanding, the foreign partner can also circumvent social expectations.

It both complicates and simplifies issues. He or she will not be expected to observe all the family niceties and can blunder along saying the wrong thing to a future parent-in-law without being held responsible. Note, however, that there is a big difference between perception of a white spouse versus a black, Asian or Middle Eastern spouse.

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They are looking to bang their boss or a boss to get the job security and money they need. Given good intentions and a strong relationship, parental approval will generally be found in time. They might speak English well enough to have a conversation, but that's where the similarities end. Are you willing to drop what you have in either city to be closer to them?

Of course, there are plenty of sincere marriages between local women and foreign men and the other way around. There are all kinds of people here as in any other city in the world.

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The women of Beijing come from all over the country, drawn for professional opportunity and a more exciting life, and the city is full of sophisticated, successful women with high standards. Beijing is an international city, and in many areas this is no longer something to raise an eyebrow at. If they are coming to visit family, one direction dating each other that means they are originally from Beijing or Shanghai.

They are not looking for a relationship. Divorce also no longer carries the stigma it once did, and in urban China the rate is rising fast. Right now, the leftovers are becoming increasingly less palletteable. The older generation can be racist, often perceiving whites as culturally superior to other non-Chinese races, and this can be an unpleasant extra layer of difficulty to work through.

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Linguistic difficulty can get in the way too. Contrary to what you may have heard, Chinese people do go on dates, and asking a woman out is not an implicit intention to marry.

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